亲情

当年
只身在外
逢节倍思亲
守候家书要两周
没有谷歌汉语拼音
信也就写不上几行
电话更甭说了
除非家里出事了
都祈祷不会接到电话

父母
六旬也不怎么老
那时的人一生操劳没保养
十八离家，前一晚
一家人围在楼下大排档给我践行
也是最后一次见我爸
不到一年人就没了
幸得寒假回家见我妈
隔年人也没了

回国
走时还是paya lebar,回来已是changi机场
两老不在了
哥姐都结婚了
成长岁月里的世界
已是面目全非
爸妈去的早，欲养亲不在
那时也真是迟钝木纳
不懂得哀伤，只有迷茫遗憾

追忆童年的日子
嬷的念经拜佛求圣杯
爸的专制独裁咆哮
酬神节日从店里带回家
一年难得享用一次的鸡鸭猪肉
妈的哮喘病痛日夜呻吟
咸菜萝卜“糜”“饮”，清水煮沙尖鱼”忒” 鱼
远久的梦幻模糊淡化了
空灵如一缕轻烟

事隔数十载
汕头澄海的大哥也与世长辞了
大嫂侄女一家倒还不少联络通话
世间事
瞬息万变物换星移
潮起潮落春夏秋冬
孩子们也都有事业成家了
新一轮的宝贝小祖宗
见证生命的延续亲情的滋长传承

c.h.e.f andy

注=
潮州人把粥称“糜” （mue），“粥水”或米汤称作“饮”（am）
“忒” 鱼-龙头鱼（Bombay duck）

====================

published on 3.2.2024

my english translation 👇🏻

Family Bond

in those years
alone in a foreign land
every holiday intensified the longing for family
waiting for letters took two weeks
without Google Pinyin, can only write few lines of chinese letter
phone calls were even rarer, unless something happened at home
prayers were for not receiving that call

my parents
in their sixties not quite that old
folks then endure a lifetime of toil without much self-care
left home at eighteen, the day before
family gathered at a “zichar”food stall sending me off
that was the last time I saw my father
less than a year later, he was gone
fortunately, I returned and saw my mother during winter break
the next year, she was gone too

returning to the homeland
departed from Paya Lebar, returned to Changi Airport,
the two elders were no more
elder brother and sister were married
my world of growing up
is now completely changed
parents gone early, desires to care for them unmet
back then, I was truly wooden and numb
unexpressive of sorrow, only confusion and regrets

recalling childhood days
grandma chanting scriptures, praying for the fortune cup
father’s dictatorial authoritarian shouts
bringing home festival offerings from the store,
rare occasions to taste chicken, duck, and pork
mother’s asthma affliction, sickness and pain, groaning day and night
pickled vegetables, radishes, watery porridge, and porridge water, boiled fish in clear water
distant dreamy memories fade and blur over time
as ethereal as a wisp of light smoke

decades later
elder brother in Shantou’s Chenghai had also passed away
still keeping regular contact with his wife, daughter, and family
life’s affairs and circumstances
change in the blink of an eye, time flies and things change
tides rise and fall, seasons come and go
children have built their own careers and families
a new generation of precious little ones
witness the continuation of life, the nourishment of family bonds